(530) 391-6264

Tell yer mom I'm not paying her $1.50 fee.  She was horrible.

Who has two thumbs and was workin yer mom last night?  THIS GUY!!!

I fooled around with yer mom and she fell in love!!! Take a number and get in line bee-otch!

Pop quiz hot****:You're lyin on your back with your head on the edge of the bed...her *****'s two feet from yer head.  Should you:a) Take the time to find a ******b) Walk right over and you ppound 'emc) Tell her that you want her loved0 All of the above

This guys been calling random houses and just yelling out "I’m the Guitar Hero Champ, and who are you...***ODY!, ha ha ha".  Here's the tip: When he calls just tell him his face is ***ody. That usually stops him, but if he calls a***n just pass the phone to his mom, that’s what I do.

This guys mom makes a tasty Chicken Parmigiana.

I know this guy, his mom's name is Jill.  Last week Me and Jill went up the hill, each with a dollar and a quarter.  Jill came back with $2.50...OHHHHHHH!!

Wow, this guy's mom is like the town bicycle...everyone gets a ride, but the frame is getting weathered and rusty, one pedal is gone, and the tail-light is missing...oh and the tire has a flat too.

I got a call from this guy asking if I knew where his mom was.  I told him, "She's right here, but she can't talk right now because she's can't talk with a full mouth. BADA-BING!

The other day I got a call from this number asking me to him and his buzzed friend over to a bar.  Dude, I am way too self-centered to take 2 minutes out of my day to do any favors for anyone.  You're ****in me bro, YOU'RE ****IN ME!!

This dude keeps calling me asking to go ******arding.  Whatever stoner, go **** out with Bode Miller and you're other****head friends.  Lateski!